ups, downs... the usual

When I was diagnosed with PCOS a month ago, the doc prescribed me with Metformin (pergi baca link sana, aku malas nak elaborate), to be taken twice daily after meal. Being my mother's daughter, I was kinda paranoid to take any kind of meds prescribed by the doc. So, naturally, I googled it up. And yeap, Metformin is the common med prescribed to ladies with PCOS. I'm taking this med diligently, every single day. And of course, my mother does not need to know about this. She's a bit funny when it comes to 'unnatural' meds.

The next thing I googled about Metformin is of the side effects. Boy oh boy, was I so unhappy to find about the side effects! Nausea, dizziness, sleepiness... How la am I going to function like this? The first few weeks of taking this med, I went through all sort of cobaan. I felt nauseous most of the time, which leads to me throwing up everything I ate. I felt sleepy all the time, at the office, at home. I went to bed as early as 9 a.m! Gila kau. I'm not the type to go to bed early (which is a very bad thing, really). It got so bad to the point I stopped taking it twice a day. I cut it down to once per day.

Slowly, my body adjusted to the med and I started to take it twice per day as per recommended. Sometimes, I still got nauseous, or dizzy. Sometimes I would have diarrhea (never fun). Sometimes I would throw up my food. I discovered that if I eat greasy or overly sweet food, I'd throw it all up. I can't even keep cheese in my stomach nowadays. So, yes, goodbye pizza :(((

By the way, went to the hospital last week and my weight went down for 1.1 kg! Yeay! Small, but very very significant to me. Even the doc said so. Every gram/kg is significant for PCOS patients because it will help to regulate the hormones. I have a very long way to go yet, bear in mind. Even I do not know what the outcome will be. I'm just trying very hard to stay positive. Mostly...

Emotionally? Well, I haven't had any breakdown yet. Except for that one time when I suddenly feel the urge to scream and break something. I wanted to have some sort of breakdown. But. I. Just. Can't. I feel like... I dunno lah. Even I myself is trying hard to figure myself out. I know for sure I'm not okay deep inside. But I just wanna be okay to the world. I don't even know what I'm trying to prove.

Man... look at the time now. Let's just leave it here, okay? I've revealed enough for now. Toodles!