Tuesday, July 22, 2008

untitled, part iii

"I am forgettable," Diane declared one day. Amy, who was applying a tube of hot pink lipstick on her lips stopped midway upon hearing the declaration.
"Where, may I know, did that come from?" Amy asked, ever so kindly.
"The little me inside of my head,"
"Well, tell her to shut up," Amy continued with her lipstick-applying job, which could take hours really.
"Seriously, Amy, I think she's right," Diane insisted as she lay sprawled on her own bed, her eyes fixed on the ceiling above. Amy, without putting her lipstick down, walked over to Diane.
"Get up," she ordered.
"No, I won't. My head and shoulder is too heavy,"
"That's the little evil you saying. Come on, get up," Amy tugged on her friend's left hand. Diane groaned and put a pillow on her face.
"Go away, Amy,"
"There must be a reason why you are so upset today. You are acting like a kid," Amy sat next to her, pulling the pillow under her hand.
"Maybe, I want to be a kid. Ever thought about that?" Diane looked straight into Amy's green eyes. Amy blinked once.
"Maybe you should just tell me what this is all about," Amy touched Diane's shoulder. Diane was silent for a while.
"I am forgettable," she said then, repeating what she had said earlier.
"I believe we've gone through that one,"
"No, Amy. I am forgettable. I won't last long in anyone's mind,"
"I'm sorry, but I think I've been friend with you since forever. And forever is such a long time, don't you agree?" Amy replied, a humor in her voice. Diane smiled. It always help to have Amy around.
"You know, a guy once destroyed my self worth completely," Diane said quietly.
"How could that happen?"
"I met him through the Internet, and we sorta clicked. I even shared with him my personal momemnts. So one day we met up. Guess I wasn't the girl he thought I would be. Since that meeting, I never ever heard from him again. Instead, he pushed his friend towards me," Diane let it out in one quick breath. Amy stared at her, astonished.
"That bastard! And you never told me about this? Why?"
"I was humiliated, Ames. I was so embarrassed, I wish I could just go away to an unknown place," Diane looked away as tears rolled down her cheek.
"You should've told me, Di. I am your friend, I won't judge you. Ever,"
"It didn't hurt much, just the humiliation eats away at me, bugging me a lot,"
"Was this when you decided to be a recluse for about six freaking months?" Amy demanded. Diane nodded slowly.
"That is why you refuse to go out with just about anyone," Diane nodded again.
"That is why you keep all your feelings inside," another nod.
"And another betrayal comes along, and you shut yourself completely," nod again. Amy sighed.
"What about this Shane guy?" Amy asked, suddenly.
"He's nice when the time is right. At most times, he just likes to ridicule me. I think he sort of got the kick from it. You know, when I get mad, he'll laugh gleefully and ridicule me more,"
"And he forgets me pretty quickly, too. As maddening as he is, I still wait for his calls. And I would think about him and wondered if he ever think about me while all the while I know I am so forgettable. So damn foolish," Diane shook her head.
"You like him!"

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