Monday, January 12, 2015

ups, downs... the usual

When I was diagnosed with PCOS a month ago, the doc prescribed me with Metformin (pergi baca link sana, aku malas nak elaborate), to be taken twice daily after meal. Being my mother's daughter, I was kinda paranoid to take any kind of meds prescribed by the doc. So, naturally, I googled it up. And yeap, Metformin is the common med prescribed to ladies with PCOS. I'm taking this med diligently, every single day. And of course, my mother does not need to know about this. She's a bit funny when it comes to 'unnatural' meds.

The next thing I googled about Metformin is of the side effects. Boy oh boy, was I so unhappy to find about the side effects! Nausea, dizziness, sleepiness... How la am I going to function like this? The first few weeks of taking this med, I went through all sort of cobaan. I felt nauseous most of the time, which leads to me throwing up everything I ate. I felt sleepy all the time, at the office, at home. I went to bed as early as 9 a.m! Gila kau. I'm not the type to go to bed early (which is a very bad thing, really). It got so bad to the point I stopped taking it twice a day. I cut it down to once per day.

Slowly, my body adjusted to the med and I started to take it twice per day as per recommended. Sometimes, I still got nauseous, or dizzy. Sometimes I would have diarrhea (never fun). Sometimes I would throw up my food. I discovered that if I eat greasy or overly sweet food, I'd throw it all up. I can't even keep cheese in my stomach nowadays. So, yes, goodbye pizza :(((

By the way, went to the hospital last week and my weight went down for 1.1 kg! Yeay! Small, but very very significant to me. Even the doc said so. Every gram/kg is significant for PCOS patients because it will help to regulate the hormones. I have a very long way to go yet, bear in mind. Even I do not know what the outcome will be. I'm just trying very hard to stay positive. Mostly...

Emotionally? Well, I haven't had any breakdown yet. Except for that one time when I suddenly feel the urge to scream and break something. I wanted to have some sort of breakdown. But. I. Just. Can't. I feel like... I dunno lah. Even I myself is trying hard to figure myself out. I know for sure I'm not okay deep inside. But I just wanna be okay to the world. I don't even know what I'm trying to prove.

Man... look at the time now. Let's just leave it here, okay? I've revealed enough for now. Toodles!

Monday, January 05, 2015

wake up call

Early December 2014, I went for a check up with the O&G at PPUKM. And I received what I called the biggest wake up call ever in my life.

I was diagnosed with PCOS. Simply put, PCOS is a hormone-related problem (out-of-balance hormones). PCOS affects fertility, which means it will be harder for PCOS women to get pregnant. Not impossible, just a little bit more difficult than other normal women.

The doc gave me until March to lose some serious weight. Or I will have some other more serious problem in the future (which includes the probability of getting ovarian cancer). Even if I got pregnant with my current condition, it will be considered a high-risk pregnancy, the doc told me. I can get diabetes, high blood pressure or worse, heart attack. The risk of me getting a miscarriage is also high.

Truthfully, it was like a slap to my face. And my heart did break a little. And there's no one to be blamed except for myself.

Ah well... life has to go on anyway. I'm determined to change my way of life now. Eat and live healthily. Drink more water. All that jazz.

Let's see what 2015 will bring for me.

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

for the love of pavlova!

"Pavlova is a meringue-based dessert named after the Russian ballet dancer Anna Pavlova. It is a meringue dessert with a crisp crust and soft, light inside." - Wikipedia
Pavlova is, I am quite sure, a well-known dessert by now. The dessert for the hipsters, some would say. Lantak kau sana kau nak kata apa pun. To me it's a dessert, a food. Hipster ka, tak hipster ka, belakang cerita. Food, we eat. Good food, we share. Bad food, well, we share also la!

So, I've heard much ruckus about Serai's pavlova. From the blogosphere, from my sisters and around. So last Saturday, I decided to drag Hubster for a taste of Serai's much-talked pavlova. Takde baby dalam perut pun, kalau dah isteri nak, suaminya ikutkan aje. Sweet kan husband ittew? Sweet angattt! *muntah hijau*

At first, wanted to go to Serai in Empire Subang, but decided against it after much persuasion from Hubster. Dia cakap Empire Subang takde apa. Padahal, aku tau dia malas nak pusing ke sana. Hahaha! So we went to Serai Paradigm Mall instead. I like the ambiance of Serai Paradigm Mall, to be honest. Warm, cozy and rather intimate. We were given a rather secluded table, nun hujung dekat tingkap buat aku rasa gayat nak mampos. We perused through the menu, and I was thinking "Pehhh, boleh tahan harga makanan kat Serai ni!" To me, the price range is a bit too steep. Takpe, we just wanna try the dessert, after all.

Berry Pavlova - RM 15.00
The pavlova arrived, looking all regal and pretty with the berries on top. But. Yes, but. Looking at the pavlova, I know instantly that it will not be soft inside. In fact, when I poked the dessert with a fork, it didn't budge. The pavlova, ladies and gentlemen, was hard through and through. Kau tengokla warna dia, 'garing' semacam je, kan? It's more of a cookie texture, rather than marshmallow-y as it should be. Hubster kata macam kon aiskrim yang 20 sen tu. Hahaha! And I did detect a hint of eggy smell and taste. Hanyir telur ada sikit.

Result: A disappointment. Kau gagal, wahai pavlova Serai.

We ordered another dessert as well. The chocolate lava cake. Hubster punya favorite dessert. Nak try la tengok power ke tak power Serai punya chocolate lava cake.

Chocolate Lava Cake - RM 15.00
Okay, when the dessert first arrived, the first thing I said was "Eleh, keciknya kek!" Really, the cake was a tiny little thing. Macam sekali suap, terus habis. I mean, Chili's punya dalam RM 20, tapi kek dia can feed us both dengan puas. Then I noticed the ice cream. Aik, kuning? Aiskrim vanilla hape kaler kuning ni? Ke aiskrim jagung? Hubster took a bite and said "Fish & Co punya lagi sedap."

Result: Fail. Fail. Fail. Sad. Presentation je gah.

I'm not done yet, my friends. Just not yet. 

Behold, ladies and gentlemen, for the best pavlova ever!

Breezy Sue Pavlova - RM 80.00
Yes, oh yes, oh yes! Made to order pavlova from Cake Jalan Tiung! I fell in love. I just fell. Head. Heels. Everything. The pavlova was exactly what a pavlova should be. The crust was crispy just nicely so. And the inside was soft and chewy and delightful and oh-so-sedap that I'm actually salivating right now. The head baker, Shafinaz, WhatsApp-ed me beforehand, apologizing for overbaking the pavlova. Well, I don't know, Shaf. The pavlova was perfect for me. And for the rest of my family members.

The pavlova was not too sweet (pavlova tends to be on the sweeter side), the flavor was just nice. The amount of the whipped cream and the fresh berries were just enough to complement the meringue. My mother, a health freak, the jangan-makan-itu-ini kinda person, had extra. Yeah, she did. Not one single complain from her either. That could only mean Cake Jalan Tiung hit the mark once again after that Lemon Cake Spade I ordered for her birthday. I'll tell you guys about that cake some other time, alright?

Even Hubster loves the pavlova. Siap suruh order nak bawak balik Terengganu. My sisters and little brother, tak payah ceritalah. Sebiji pavlova tak cukup. Suruh order lagi. Next time la pulak!

Go ahead, give Cake Jalan Tiung a visit at their Facebook - CAKEjalantiung and their Instagram - @cakejalantiung. Their pavlova (and cakes, of course!) are to die for. Honest.

2 posts on food consecutively? Lantak!

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

the semi-existence of molten chocolate cake

One fine day, I was in a buoyant mood. Tiba-tiba dok berangan nak buat chocolate cake. But not just any chocolate cake, mind you.

No experience, no confidence. Just armed with a recipe, I wanted to attempt a chocolate cake just like THIS:

Far-reaching, I know. Shut up already. Berangan, tahu, berangan?

So, I took out all the ingredients and fired away...

Tak cuba, tak tahu, kan? Kan? Kan? I had to try it. The recipe looks pretty simple...

Recipe is from here.

I followed the recipe right to the T. I did not deviate even one bit. Okay, so I might've put in a little bit more chocolate than the recipe called for. Sikit je, bukan banyak pun. It's chocolate, what can I say?

And then...

Looks promising, no? Oh, by the way, I don't have those individual molds or ramekins. Hence the baking pan. Belasah je la. Janji ada.

And then...

The moment of truth...

No molten center.
Chocolate cake, yes.
With soft center.

Yep, it was slightly overbaked. Tsk tsk.

Was I disappointed? Yeah, just a little. I wanted to surprise the husband with the cake as he loves molten chocolate cake. But he ate the cake, nevertheless. And he went "Mmmm... dap!" Good enough for me. Next time, we'll just stick to Chili's lah. Hahaha!

And on the very same day, I overwhipped my cream. Yeah.

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

sesekali dalam bulan biru

terguris hati nan sekeping
Dibiar bisu
Dibiar sendu
Umpamanya angin yang dibiar berlalu

Terlupa memalingkan muka
Terlupa membutakan mata
dari terlihat yang menghiris jiwa

Biarkan dia leka
Biarkan dia alpa
Biarkan dia khayal
dia bermain dengan fantasinya

Sampai nanti satu masa...
Bila hati enggan lagi terima
Bila sabar sudah sampai penghujungnya
Bila pujuk rayu bukan lagi pada selera
akan aku bawa kaki ini melangkah
akan aku bawa diri ini jauh

kau terus dilambung asmara maya
Walau aku di sisi
namun cuma jadi pemerhati

Sampai nanti satu masa...
Biar segunung penyesalan pun
Andai sekali aku berpaling
tak akan mungkin aku kembali

- Ummi Farhana, 9 Oktober 2013