a birthday not forgotten

Whether we realize it or not, 2008 is coming to an end, fast. Well, for me, at least. It has been one heck of a year for me, I must say. Ups and downs, the usual thing. Life is... life. I have to go on no matter what, no? Yep. I am taking it all in as it is.

But today, I choose to stop and reflect a while. Because today, 23rd October, is my father's birthday. And though he is gone, he still live in my heart and my memory. Here, in my heart and head, he is pretty much alive and I prefer to keep it that way. I'm hanging on to every single memory I shared with him, good or bad. It's the only thing I have of him, after all. Memories.

I stand alone
I walk alone
as I reminisce
every little pieces
of you and I

The tear-stained history
The laughter-filled moments
I keep it all in the box
and though I want to keep it sealed
I could never bring myself to it
because it is too precious
to be kept away

I told myself to let go
I told myself to live with it and move on
I'm living with it, every single second
I'm moving on, step by step
but I refuse to let go
and as each day passes by
I miss you more

Regrets
Remorse
How could I even begin
How could I even stop
Now that you are gone
I could only look back
into the shadows of the past
where time stopped
to reveal all the little things we missed
all the little things I missed

I stand alone
I walk alone
as I grasp the memories
as I look back
and I saw you
as you walk away
without saying goodbye

-Ummi Farhana-

Happy birthday, dear Abah...