Wednesday, December 02, 2009

they're homosapiens, you know?

Last night, had a talk with two of my sisters. The much younger ones. I've been feeling down lately and I have this guy trouble. Yes. Guy trouble. How pathetic is that? And to think that it has been bugging me for the last 3 weeks, pathetic doesn't even cover it. I need to lay it out to someone, so there were my sisters.

To my amazement, my youngest sister gave me a piece of her mind that nobody else had ever give. She gave it straight and frank. No reservation. And nothing but the truth. They say the truth hurts and yes, hurt it did. I cried in front of them. A moment of weakness. She said that the guys I've chosen are nothing but useless. I let myself be used and stepped on. She also said that I realized all of that long before but I chose to ignore it because I'm used to it. That all has got to stop, she added. Time for me to think about myself.

Imagine. That coming from my youngest sister. She's in her teens. I'm almost an adult. When did she grow up? How come I missed it? And just how much she knows about me that even I am not aware of? She is indeed well on her way to become a fine lady. Another sister told us about her useless ex. The ex who expected her to pay for everything. She came to her senses quick and dumped him. Good for her. I wish I can say the same thing for me. But at least I have them to shake me up from my delusional self.

Last night had been an eye-opener. Their words penetrated deep into me. And they got me right back on my feet again. Suddenly, I feel much lighter. Suddenly, I'm not checking my phone every 10 fucking minutes. I'm okay. I'm fine. I'm cool. I'm great, even. I am much better off on my own. Thanks to my sisters, I don't feel like dragging my feet through my life anymore. How I am blessed to have them in my life.

It's time to celebrate life. Mine. And it is definitely the time to move on. On my own. With my sisters by my side.

6 comments:

  1. sometimes it takes someone observing us to see what we are unable, because we're caught up in all that's happening. I'm happy for you that you were informed of your "pattern", that it clicked with you (many not ready for the truth would deny it), and that it was your sis who did it, thus showing you you've got someone you can count on.

    take care!!
    *lynne*

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  2. lynne: i think the fact that i'm used to that kind of treatment, i turned a blind eye to it and let myself fall. my sis managed to slap me right out of it and i am more than blessed to have them in my life.

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  3. I forgot to ask what happened between you and him. So, everything is alright?

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  4. wani: to say that everything is alright is..... well, I believe I'm not so much into him anymore. he activated his fb and not one word said to me. and guess what? I don't give a fuck anymore. we've come to the point where we're polite with each other. time to move on, i believe. he can menggedik with all his heart now.

    now that i stop calling and texting, he is trying to berbaik-baik pulak. dah penat jual mahal kot

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  5. honestly, only honesty could help us.

    and when it comes from our dearest one, we know they telling it for our good sake.

    anyway, hope thing going well. :)

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  6. mangi: denial dictates most of our lives, i think. that is why we have families and friends (that we really trust). they will give you the unvarnished truth so that you can move on with your life. time to dust myself off and try again

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Words could heal... or it could hurt or maybe, it won't bring any difference. Either way, just type away!