Thursday, May 13, 2010

lullaby

As I prepared for bed last night, I had this heavy feeling deep inside my heart that I could not name. I crawled up on the bed and I put my head on the pillow. And as I stare into the darkness, a song came into my head. A lullaby. In a very familiar voice...

Go to sleep now close your eyes
Try to think of tomorrow
All of us wish you good night
So I'm switching off the lights
One more hug
One more smile
Kiss you once
Kiss you twice

And without warning, tears trickled down my face. Right then and there I thought "Damn it!". My moment of weakness. I felt foolish. I really did. I'm suppose to move on. I'm suppose to forget. Right? Right? Damn those tears. Damn the lullaby.

Along with those lullaby, memories came, flooding my mind. I'm a restless sleeper. I always got up around 4 a.m and I used to look for him. I can't even remember how many times I cried on the phone talking to him as I lay my troubles and problems. Sometimes, I would just cry for no reason at all. Bygones. I'm not going to start being melancholy now. Let's move on.

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