Monday, June 26, 2006

when life becomes a lil lonely...

yeah, well... I dunno. it seems a bit lonely nowadays since I started my industrial training.

not my place to complain, but I feel like there's a hole in my life... a gap that somehow stops me from enjoying my life. for a moment, I feel like life is not worth living and for the next moment, I feel like I'm enjoying every second of it. for now, life is a lil lonely.
there are several things that went through my head as I'm typing this post...
  • I miss all my friends... every single one of them.
  • I go home every weekend but I still miss home and I really wanna go home now.
  • I am sick and tired of the phone, ringing every damn second.
  • my boss is a perfectionist that he demands us to be perfect too.
  • there is this one unknown guy who keeps sms-ing me even though I never reply any of his sms and it is pretty annoying. he told me his name is norman, 27 of age, from klang. who???
  • the warning from the mcafee virus scan keeps popping up every now and then. apparently there is some kind of virus in the system (rontokbro, if I'm not mistaken). it's pissing me off as it interrupts my work.
  • my boss keeps forgetting my name (he calls me MIMI whenever he wants to. MIMI. dang!).
  • oh yeah, I have to call KL Sentral now to arrange for an educational visit by a secondary school...


  1. Seems to me the reason your feeling detached one moment and sequestered the next could be a sign that your struggling to adapt to the new changes, emotionally of course.Today the world changes so quickly that in growing up we take leave not just of youth but of the world we were young in ... Fear and resentment of what is new is really a lament for the memories of our childhood. Perhaps the reason one might pulsate between feeling lonely and otherwise is because of the ablity to be able to relate (or not relate to) the happenings around them. It's like going to pre-school for the very first time. You feel lonely, empty and scared. Because you've never experienced something like that before. But the same when you move on up to secondary school and that fear and loneliness is gone all of a sudden. Thats because now you're able to relate yourself to the new changes. Though you know things aren't exactly the same as before and you don't really know what may or may not happpen. You still feel the comforting notion that everythings gonna be alright. That 'hole' you mentioned that you believe is stopping you from having a good time is nothing more then a timid copy of your old self trying desperately to break free of the old mold. To cure it; throw yourself into new situations. Take it from someone who has been tranfered to over 7 schools in 12 years, If there's one thing I've learned in that period is that "change is inevitable, there's no other option then to adapt to it" And as for the friends bit, friends come and go constantly, all but a precious few you should hold on too. Like poetry their purpose to enter our lives is not to complete us but rather inspire us to new heights.

    PS:- McAfee is acting up to a virus called Rontokbro,This search result might help diganosing what type is it. Ultimately, update McAffee run the scanner and delete the file upon detection. If it doesn't delete, then start up in safe mode (hit 'del' key at startup then choose 'safemode'). Once in safe mode do the same thing, scan and delete. Should work.

  2. Hey manny...many thanks for the advice. I woke up this morning thinking just about the same. It's kinda frustrating to live the way I am living rite now (and I tend to change it). I mean, I'm still young, still got so many things to do and sulking and moping around is definitely NOT one of them. I must rise to the challenge(s), face them head-on (I keep telling myself that everyday) but somehow... I manage to bring myself down now and again. pathetic eh?:p

    My life is like... jumping so fast from one phase to another and I feel like I couldn't even catch my breath. May sound like a lame excuse, but that is just what I'm feeling rite now. Somehow I feel kinda... I dunno... helpless and hopeless? And sometimes I feel sooo tired that I feel like burying myself underneath the blanket in my bed and go to sleep and never to wake up again. Case of burned-out? I really don't know.

    But then again, maybe I'm just being a spoilt brat :p...

    p/s: McAfee did delete the infected files upon detection, but the virus replicates itself again and again. Ran the scan and nothing came up, not one single virus.


Words could heal... or it could hurt or maybe, it won't bring any difference. Either way, just type away!