Forgive me for all this meaningless whining and rambling but I just have to get it out my chest or I might explode. It has been plaguing me since the new semester started. And it just gotten worst. I wish I will grow out of it and face everything head-on. No such luck. I got more... well, kinda depressed. I hate it. I hate the fact that I have to go back and continue my studies because I didn't give it my best at the beginning. No use whatsoever to regret it now, no?
And the worst part of it all, due to my feeling of failure and depression, I will lash out at every single person who I thought tries to piss me off. Bad, huh? My special someone wasn't spared either. The smallest mistake he made, and I was giving him the best bitch-time ever. I forgot to count my blessings and I had a go at this man who is the single most patient human being with me. I must be out of my mind.
And it doesn't help either that I have a little liking or compatibility with my new housemates. Hence, my repeated trip back home every week. Penang-KL-Penang-KL... 4 to 5 hours trip and I don't mind it at all. I feel like those trips were normal. Whatever to make me feel better. Just the thought of going back to Penang gives me this sick feeling in my stomach. I feel miserable thinking about it. And you can't even imagine the way I feel when I'm over there. Gawd! This sucks!