"kadang2.. kite tak bleh selalu anggap diri kite betul.. kadang2.. kite kena blajar terima pandangan org lain.. kadang2.. kite kena akur dgn silap kite.. kadang2.. kite kena terima kekurangan diri.. kadang2 kite kena terima masalah secara positif.. i paham, i tahu ape u cube sampaikan.. but i just can't do what u expect me to do.. i donno why.. i just can;t.. sorry.."
As far as truth goes, it hurts. And it hurts bad. Oh well, life is never a walk in the park anyway. And I appreciate honesty above anything, how hurtful it may be.
Though sometimes, it is not honesty I expected when I was having a hell of a day. Comfort and assurance are what I'm looking for. A bit of bitching here and there won't hurt either. But I've learned to accept people just the way they are. And I've learned to not to expect too much. I am spoiled, that much I know. So I always wanted to be spoiled. I want sweet words, gentle words, I want people to side with me. A little too much to ask for. And so I learned to be quiet. I learned to keep to myself.
When I complaint or mengadu, I want to hear what I want to hear. I want to be comforted, not lectured upon. If I want any lectures, I will go straight to my mother. I will surely got an earful. But then again, that would be a tad bit selfish, no? See, I'm spoiled. Truth is, how hurtful honesty is to me, it is better than those I-don't-know-what-to-say type. Imagine, you are pouring your heart out, you are bitching tirelessly about this client and that client, and all you got is "Gee, I 'm sorry but I don't know what to say." Arghhh! I feel like tearing my hair out really.
Deep down inside, when I'm boiling over certain matter I know that I have to do my job, no matter what. It's just that a little comfort could at least lift up the mood. I know my responsibilities, I know my job and I certainly know my priorities. I don't need another reminder as to what I am suppose to do. Another lesson learned, I suppose. I'll just keep to myself the next time. That way, I won't be disappointed, again and again.