hush, hush, darling

Suddenly, ramai pulak fans Spain yang murtad. Suddenly, ramai pulak fans Argentina, kan? I LOL-ed at it. Most of the Spain's so-called fans suddenly changed their profile pictures in Facebook to either Germany's jersey or Argentina's. Or Japan's. What a joke. It's like a tradition pulak in our country. Lompat sana, lompat sini. Sampai nak kena gubal akta pasal lompat melompat ni. You jump, I jump? Again, I LOL-ed. Very hard. Don't call yourself a fan, then. Shame on you! Booooooo!

Anyway, let's move on.

I've been keeping a diary since I was a kid with raging hormones. So you can probably imagine how the earlier entries look like. Back then, I thought the world was against me, that everyone conspired to bring me down. I was angry at every single thing. I was, ladies and gentlemen, a pimple-faced, hormone-induced teenager in every sense. Now, that's the phase I never want to go ever again. It's depressing. More depressing than hearing the super duper annoying sound of vuvuzela. Seriously, yo. Entah bila nak ban menatang haram jadah tu.

The longest entry I wrote in my diary was when my father passed away. The pages are stained with tears and some words are blurred beyond comprehension. I'm not good in expressing myself verbally, but with words, I go mad. Sometimes, I could not even believe that I was the one who wrote those things in the diary. But there it is, my own handwriting, in red. Yes, I write my entries with red pen. Dakwat gel lagi, nyah! There's some sort of novelty writing my own diary in a red ink. Lagi-lagi kalau dok menyumpah orang, memang dakwat merah rasa puas sikit.

There is one name i wrote in the diary over and over again in a decorative manner. Whose name it is, I think it's best to let it remain unknown. Let bygones be bygones. Life, as we all already know, goes on. As what I wrote on the entry dated 15th June 2010;

What goes around, will come around. I believe that there is hikmah in every single thing that happened to me. Life doesn't stop when all falls down. You pick up the pieces and move on. What's the point in wallowing in sadness? Bukan kenyang perut pun kan, Diary, kan? Life must goes on and on and on. Challenges, failures, disappointments... they are all part and parcel of life. The essence of life. Kalau takde semua itu, maknanya bukan hidup la tu. Itu zombie namanya!

That was part of what was written in the diary. Motivational craps. I'm a sucker for those things. I'm in a constant need of motivation. Tee-hee. My diary is my shoulder to cry on. The place where I can dump all my emotional junks. And laugh about it the next day. And ponder upon the written words for the next few days. And reminds me why I need to keep a clear head.

If you want honest to God's words from me, it is all written in the diary. Ssyyy... it's a secret.