Tuesday, March 12, 2013

saying i love youuuu...

Note: This is an afterthought, or maybe, a continuum of this post.

I was looking at a magazine recently, a magazine called Inspirasi Perkahwinan. I was leafing through it when Hubster came back from his hunt for a football shoe. So then I arrived at this one page.

Mengapa Lelaki Berkahwin? (Why Men Got Married)

The title read. Amused, I read on. I think I arrived at reason #6 on why men got married when I turned to Hubster and showed the page to him.

"Abang yang ni eh?" I said jokingly while pointing at #6. Hubster read for a minute and shook his head.

"Bukan. Abang yang ni," Hubster pointed at reason #1. I smiled. He grinned. Oh, he didn't know how much his answer meant for me. Truth be told, I didn't care, really, on whichever reason he pointed at. I was joking, after all. But when he pointed to #1, it felt... good. It felt really really good.

#6 Bosan (Bored)
#1 Saling Melengkapi (Completes each other)

See why I went all gooey? He was saying that I complete him, and he completes me. Awwww...

In more ways than one, yes, we complete each other. And I'd rather think that we complement each other just nicely so. We balanced each other's traits quite nicely, too. Our good, our bad, we accept each other just the way it is. And we tolerate each other.

You see, my husband is an affectionate man. He's never stingy with words. Words like "Sayang isteri abang sangat-sangat" or "Comel la isteri abang ni". I hear those words on daily basis. And yes, I feel blessed and loved and grateful for such affections. Who won't want to hear those words coming from the person they love? I consider myself to be one of the luckiest women on earth right now.

But can my husband say the same thing about me?

No, I'm afraid not. While he is more open in expressing his love, I'm more reserved. It's not often that I utter my affection to him. It's not often that I express my love verbally towards him. And I realized, I'm not being fair. He's my husband, after all. Why am I being so reserved and modest with my own man? Hugs and kisses are different things. To me at least. Words, when spoken, gives a whole new perspective to what we try to express.

Why? I ask myself. Why am I so kedekut to say "I love you" to my husband? Even when there are only the two of us?

To some people, words means nil. Maybe. But for some others, words can mean a lot. To me, Hubster saying he loves me is like a magic potion that keeps me happy and content. I want Hubster to feel the same way as I do, too. And I'm gonna try and say the 'L' word as often as I can. Because I do love him. I really do. So much.

And I hope he's not gonna read this. Malu!!!

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Words could heal... or it could hurt or maybe, it won't bring any difference. Either way, just type away!