girls don't fart

It was one of those evenings, we were sitting back after dinner, me in front of my laptop and hubster sitting beside me. We were talking, nothing serious, just having our usual post-dinner chitchat. When suddenly, I farted. Audibly.

Yes, I farted.

Hubster and I looked at each other and we laughed.

"Eh, orang perempuan tak kentutlah!" hubster elbowed me gently as he laughed.
"Orang perempuan mana tak kentut? Tu alien tu, bukan orang!" I poked him in the rib. He laughed some more, amused.

Girls don't fart, eh? There you go. Myth debunked. Please, no need to thank me.

you don't play-play with the first lady of malaysia

Say... what???

I saw the news today in MSN Malaysia's website. And I couldn't believe my eyes at first. I went "Whaaa...?" and "Huh???"

ROSMAH GETS HER OWN iOS GAME!

The headline screams. Whoa! Really? I mean, really? Seriously? This is serious, my friends. This is very, very serious. I kid you not.

 

Source of pictures here

The description reads:

This tongue in cheek game takes Malaysian First Lady Rosmah Mansor's claim that she saved the money it took for a RM24.4 million diamond ring and turns it on it's head. As a somewhat familiar female figure, save as much money as it takes to gain an arsenal of Birkin bags, and ultimately, the holy grail of all rings.

It almost got me rolling on the floor in a bout of laughter. Almost. Whoever came up with this game, my hats off to you.

But, of course, it's not for free, yo! This is Bik Mama we're talking about, remember? No money, no talk la!

Lucky all you Apple users out there, I must say. *insert troll face here*

wordless wednesday #12 - true story

life-saving facts

A new SMS/message/e-mail has gone viral in Malaysia last week. The message sounds more or less like this:

"For the next few days, please do not drink any product from Pepsi, Tropicana Juice, Sprite, 7Up, Coca Cola etc. A worker from the company has added his blood contaminated with HIV into the drinks. As seen on NTV7. Please forward this message bla bla bla bla bla..."

My, my. Such serious message. My ass shivered when I read that message. Let's get the facts straight, shall we?

Fact #1

The message said any product from Pepsi bla bla bla Coca-Cola. Now wait a minute here. Pepsi and Coca-Cola are two different products from two different companies. That should tip you off straight away that this message is a hoax. It can't be that the worker is working for two different companies, no? Pepsi is produced and manufactured by PepsiCo while Coca Cola is produced  by The Coca-Cola Company. Go google it. Now.

Fact #2

HIV does not live long outside the body. Even if small amounts of HIV-infected blood or semen was consumed, exposure to the air, heat from cooking, and stomach acid would destroy the virus. Therefore, there is no risk of contracting HIV from eating food, or in this case, from drinking Pepsi or Coke or Tropicana Juice or Sprite or even Barbican. 

Fact #3

The message is originated from India. The original message is full of grammar mistakes that I cringed reading it. Here's the message:

[Source]

See how ridiculous the message is? Whoever started this must be hanged to death. Seriously. And when the message comes to Malaysia, ND TV becomes NTV7. Nice, very nice.

Fact #4

Those drinks mentioned in the message are loaded with sugar. It's not good for you. So don't even drink it in the first place. I don't need to remind you that, do I? Meh. Like you're going to even listen to me. Big Mac + Fries + Coke = WIN, right? Riiiiiight.

Fact #5

Those who believe this message and forward it to other people? They are called IDIOTS.

that near-to-death experience

Okay, the title is indeed a dramatic one. Over-the-top. So sue me.

I went to the dentist last Saturday. Horri-freaking-fying. Seriously. I'll let these screen captures tell you the story.

 Note: Read from the  bottom.

Note: Read from the  bottom.

Yes, I had a tooth removed. And yes, I am scared of dentist. I avoid going to dentist as long as I can. Always have bad experience with dentist. Since I was a little girl. Yeah, yeah, I'm a wimp. Don't have to tell me twice.

And here are some of the response I got from my *ehem* wimpy *ehem* tweets.

Now go laugh at me.

we like to move it move it!

Ada satu kegilaan yang sedang berlaku di rumah aku sekarang. It's madness, yo! Kegilaan itu adalah bernama PlayStation Move. Apa itu PlayStation Move? Baca sini, please. Tapi kalau malas nak baca, secara ringkasnya, PlayStation Move ialah seperti extension untuk PlayStation. It's a motion-sensing controller. Means, korang kena bergerak untuk menggunakan benda ni. Dan ia adalah super duper cool, y'all!

Ini ialah rupa controller tersebut:

Cool, kan? Macam mikrofon yang funky, no?

And you know what's the coolest thing about PlayStation Move? Boleh main game sambil exercise. How freaking cool is that? The term for it is 'Exergame' to be exact. Nama pun PlayStation Move, jawabnya kenala move around, kan?

Antara game yang aku paling layan sekali ialah game Archery dalam siri Sports Champions.

Grafik sangat cantik, rasa macam real je bila main.

Ada enam games semuanya dalam siri Sports Champions. Satu lagi yang paling layan ialah Gladiator Duel Game lawan pedang. Yang ini rasanya lagi ekstrem dari game lain sebab kena gerakkan seluruh anggota badan. Sampai ada yang sakit pinggang main Gladiator ni! Gladiator boleh main 2 orang so kalau rasa-rasa macam nak lepas geram, sangatla sesuai.

Hot chicks? Cat fight? LOL.

Adik-adik aku main dengan penuh perasaan, ok, bila main Gladiator Duel. Kawasan depan TV tu kena bagi clear sebelum main. Kalau tak, akan terjadi kemalangan jiwa. Tak percaya? Tengok ni:

Gambar ialah blur sebab diorang tengah bergerak dengan pantas. Nampak benda yang macam lightsaber tu? Tu lah motion controller tu.

Bila first time main, semua orang jadi macam orang tua lepas tu. Ada yang sakit pinggang, sakit badan, sakit itu, sakit ini. Yang jadi tempang sekejap pun ada jugak. Itu penangan PlayStation Move. Tapi lama-lama dah biasa, okeyla.

Last sekali, aku tinggalkan korang dengan rakaman orang yang main GladiatorDuel dengan penuh aksi:

Do try this at home, ya? Hehehehe.

smooch that!

Going to work with public transportation every single day, you're bound to see or hear something interesting or funny. Or maybe, you'll experience it on your own. I've had had so many incident in the past that I've lost count. But there was one incident that I still remember. Vividly. And it never fail to bring a smile to my face.

It happened when I was on board of Putra LRT heading to Kelana Jaya. I was standing, holding on to the steel pole. There were people standing nearby as well. While the train was moving smoothly along, I chatted with my sister, who was at that time doing her training at my office. Naturally, I let go of the pole while chatting, trying to make a point to my sister. Big mistake. Big, big mistake.

Suddenly, SKRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTT!!! Without warning whatsoever, the emergency brake was pulled (for lack of better operational word). The train lunged violently forward before coming to an abrupt stop.

Of course, it had to do that while I was not holding on to the pole.
Of course, it had to do that while there were people standing near to me. MEN mostly.
AND of course, it was too late before I grabbed hold of the pole.

Before you ask, OR laugh, NO, I did not fall flat on my face. I bumped, really hard, into a man's back. His shoulder, to be exact. Wait. His hard shoulder is more accurate. I was feeling a bit dizzy and stunned from the impact. I mumbled an apology and quickly straightened myself up. When I raised my head, I was horrified. Nooooo!!! My mind screamed.

THERE WAS A PINK GLOSSY LIPSTICK MARKING ON THE GUY'S SHIRT! Exactly where my face landed! On his shoulder! No, no, no, no, no, no! I searched urgently for his fingers, to see any sign of a ring, but he had his back on me. Damn it! How do I wipe off that offending mark from his shirt? Damn it all! While I was trying to figure out what to do, the train moved again, thankfully at a slower speed. And before I could do or say anything about it, he got off at the next stop.

And my mind went "Mampos la kalau dia dah kahwin. Mampos la kalau bini dia nampak bekas lipstik tu. Mampos! Finish! The end!"

Then, my logic kicked in, "He must be going to his office. His colleagues must notice that marking. They will let him know and of course he'll clean that marking off his shirt. Right? Right? RIGHT?"

Riiiiiigghttt!

Until now I wonder just what happened after he walked out off the train. I honestly hope that the lipstick mark would not harm him in any way. It was an accident, to start with. I was not aiming for his shoulder. I really really really hope nothing bad happened to him, or embarrassing. And I really really really really hope we won't be bumping into each other again. EVER!

tweet, tweet

One of my friends YM-ed me a while ago. First thing he said is "Can you not tweet so often?". I was a bit baffled. First of all, he doesn't have a Twitter account (as far as I know). Second of all, he reads my tweets? You see, he's not that type to read all this mundane stuff. He doesn't even read my blog (I hope!). So you see, I am curious as to why he's reading my tweets and why, above all things, should I not tweet "so often"?

"But why?" I asked. He typed the smiley icon. "Your tweets are funny," he replied. Ahah! A compliment! I typed the wide grin icon. "So you read my tweets?" I had to confirm it, of course.

"Since you unprotected your tweets, yeah. You're so normal, you make me laugh sometimes." Uh, wait, what's that supposed to mean? I'm normal and funny, or, I'm so normal it's funny? Ugh. Even I am confused now!

"So then why should I tweet less?"
"Because it's becoming sort of an addiction to me. And I feel this urge to open a Twitter account just so that I can follow you." Hah! Could it be that I'm luring people to the dark side now? You know... like this one good friend, who has embraced the world of Twitter. Hahaha! Got me smiling alright, @WaniTealeaf.

So maybe I could entice another person to come to the dark side? Mmm. We'll see *rubbing hand gleefully while smiling slyly*.

entertainment value

I've been reading THIS blok blog for quite some time now. I enjoy Diyana's writing style immensely. She's funny, witty and sarcastic. And her son, Miki is super duper adorable. Bukan nak mengampu, but it's a fact.

One entry that got my attention is an entry regarding TMPoint. Go read it. And read the comments. Please do read the comments. The comments give you the real kick. Tapi kalau kamu orang TM, the kick may be defined in a different manner. My advice? Take it as constructive criticism. Tak payah nak butthurt sangat, like certain people. And even if you're not happy enough, refrain from obscenities or risk being labeled as a brainless jerk. Just saying, you know.

By the way, when you read the comments, please bear in mind that Puan Diyana is:

• Married,
• With one child
• And she wasn't referring to the entire TM organization.

Happy weekend-ing, folks!

oops!! it wasn't me

I won't say much. After all, a picture could speak thousand words...

hee haw!

I don't know if there's anyone else in Malaysia who listens to country music as much as I do. Seriously. I mentioned Shelton Blake to a friend and she went absolutely blank. I could put Rascal Flatts and Lady Antebellum on replay all day long. After two days listening to Lady Antebellum, I can already sing along to most of their songs. And I definitely know almost all Rascal Flatts' songs. Ain't that scary? And I'm not from Nashville, y'all!

I don't know. I guess that's just my preference of music. And I think the lyrics of most country songs kinda connect with me. But I was listening to one of the Flatts' songs one night and the lyrics made me laugh. The song is suppose to be about love and everything but somehow my mind works in a different frequency and I ended up trying up to figure out if there is a double meaning to this song:

She Goes All The Way
[Rascal Flatts]

No limits, no lines are drawn
The whole world disappears when
We're alone
That thin white cotton dress is
Blowin' in the wind
She takes my hand and the dance begins

[CHORUS]

With every move she makes
I'm deeper than I've been
Holding on and letting go
She just keeps givin' in
Takin' me higher and further
There she goes again givin' more than
She takes
'Cause it's more than love she makes
She goes all the way

No questions, no talking at all
Only the sound of our hearts as the fall
No matter what I need, her answer's
Always yes
I only have to dream and she does the rest

[REPEAT CHORUS TWICE]

Ooo, ooo, ooo
My baby goes all the way, the way
She goes all the way
My baby goes all the way
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah

Now tell me if your mind is the same frequency as mine. Hahaha! The song's nice, though.

who's complaining?

Thank God we don't have this in Malaysia... yet.

__________________________________________

5 things British tourists complain about while on holiday

1. A tourist staying at an African game lodge who saw a visibly aroused elephant complained that the sight of the beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".
   
   
   
2. A woman threatened to call police after complaining that she'd been locked in by staff. She mistook the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
   
   
3. One tourist was unhappy that the sand he saw on the beach was "not like the sand in the brochure". The beach shown in the brochure had yellow sand, but the tourist said his beach had white sand.
   
   
4. An enquiry from a prospective client: "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation'. We're trainee hairdressers - will we be OK staying here?"
   
   
5. A tourist was upset that while it took "us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, it took the Americans only three hours to get home".

Compiled from a recent report published by The Association for British Travel Agents (ABTA) and Thomas Cook on some of the most ridiculous complaints travel agents receive from holidaymakers.

_________________________________________

P/S: I like #1 and #2

lipas goreng

While a drunken person speaks the truth, a super duper sleepy person it seems, speaks utterly ridiculous things. Well, that is applicable to me, at least. You can always count on getting me talking nonsense when I am super duper sleepy. Nonsense such as lipas goreng (fried cockroach). Where the hell did that thing came from, I wish I know.

It was back in those days when Kimie and I both could spend hours talking on the phone. Well, we did talk... while trying, very hard, not to doze off. You see, this was back when Hotlink had this Super Saver where you can call any Maxis/Hotlink number for only just RM 2 from midnight until 9 am. So yes, we tried to talk from midnight until 9 am. Back then, we were just friends. It's funny, you know, how, as friends, we could talk endlessly about anything. Even one that lead to the lipas goreng thing.

We were talking about food, if I remember correctly. I was trying really hard to fight my sleepiness. I think he was feeling kinda sleepy as well. Suddenly I went like "... kalau lipas goreng kene goreng betul-betul dulu..." (you have to fry the cockroach thoroughly first) and my drowsy mind processed the words seconds too late. When I realized what I just said, I went Oh f**k! Did I just say lipas goreng??? Nooooooo!!! The sleepiness went away just like that. Kimie was laughing like a mad man. I was kinda confused. Why the hell did I say lipas goreng? I wanted to say ikan goreng! The damage was done. I could not possibly take the words back. Lipas goreng. How ridiculous can you be, huh?

Until now, we both would laugh our heads off if the word lipas is mentioned. It was funny back then, it is still funny until today. Kimie, especially, always teases me about the lipas goreng incident. He would hold on to that forever, I suppose. Almost fair. Usually, I would tease him endlessly because he was the one who will talk nonsense through his sleepiness. That was us back then. Now, due to our responsibility and commitment to work, I'd be lucky to even get one single phone call from him.

Ever had any lipas goreng incident?

hollywood-ing babies' names

You know, the people in Hollywood could almost get away with anything. Anything. Including their babies' names. We know how these people seemed to have this kinda secret competition to top each other off in every single department. DUI, wardrobe malfunction, sex tape, divorces and alimonies and pre-nuptial agreements etc. It's amusing, really, to watch or read.

Once, there was a trend in Hollywood which they called the baby-bump trend. From Gwyneth Paltrow to Angelina Jolie, they wore their big stomachs proudly. Not that there is anything wrong there. Things got a teensy bit amusing when Gwyneth named her daughter Apple. Apple *shake head*. Couldn't get more creative than that, could we?

Then, suddenly, we got Suri (Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes), Romeo (David & Victoria Beckham), Maddox (Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie), Prince Michael (Michael Jackson & don't-know-who), Levi (Ethan Hunt & Uma Thurman) and the list just goes on and on and on. Those names are pretty normal in that show-offy kind of way. But how about those who named their children with names that are utterly ridiculous? Name like Kal - El (Nicholas Cage's son)? Oh, please! If he is Kal - El, then that makes you Jor - El, is it? Pffft. But lets admit it, most of us know who Kal - El is. No big deal. Cage is trying to relive his childhood days perhaps.

But how about Jermajesty (Jermaine Jackson)? My, my, Mr. Jackson, playing royalty now, are we? Hah! Not even close! Here are some other Hollywood baby names that make you want to roll on the floor laughing or just roll your eyes in contempt:

• Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale (Gavin Rossdale & Gwen Stefani) - Zuma? As in the Zuma game? Nesta? Alessandro Nesta? Go here to find out more on the baby's name.
  
• Pilot Inspektor Riesgraf-Lee (Jason Lee) - poor kid. His father couldn't made up his mind whether he want the kid to become a pilot or a police officer.
• Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette (Penn & Emily Jillette) - err... hurm. I'm just speechless.
• Bronx Mowgli Wentz (Pete Wentz & Ashlee Simpson) - Jungle Book, New York version. Rudyard Kipling is probably rolling in his grave right now.
• Banjo Patrick Taylor (Rachel Griffiths) - Pretty normal. But then, it got me singing O Suzanna don't you cry for me... I come from Alabama with my banjo on my knee!
  
• Moses Martin (Chris Martin & Gwyneth Paltrow) - oops, she did it again!

Amusing, isn't it? Well, famous people they are and they don't want to name their kids with common names like Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross or Joey (those names are kinda familiar, no?). Bah! Names, it seems, are definitely over-rated.

Any funny name you know?

simon 'grumpy' cowell & paula 'minnie' abdul

I grabbed that picture above from today's The Star.

And by Lord, to see Grumpy holding that placard, I could not stop laughing! Really. Grumpy and Simon Cowell. I never even thought of it. The picture spoke thousand words, my friends. And one of them is "Paula Abdul's dress is so freaking ugly it makes Grumpy looks cute". What was she thinking? Trying to outdo Minnie Mouse? Pfft. You ain't growing younger, missy, even with Botox!

Grumpy at the back, though, has made my day. You are MY idol!

me, an instant millionaire!

I posted about this millionaire stuff once here. But that wasn't the end of it, my friends.

This Vladimir Garic also send different e-mail to other people. Check this out and have a laugh.

Read the full version of this e-mail here.

*Click images to enlarge*

See what I mean?

Now perhaps I can quit my job and travel around the world and shop 'til I drop.

i'm a millionaire!

I received this e-mail in my inbox today:

Congratulation!!!
We are happy to announce to you that your email address has won you a total sum
of £ 850,502.00 in cash in the recent draw of the UK National Lottery Online
Sweepstakes Program To file for your claim contact DR. DAVID ORCHMAN
on his email with your completed claims verification form as required below to
file for your claims.
DR. DAVID ORCHMAN.
Tel: +447045752514
CLAIMS VERIFICATION FORM
1. Full Names:...........
2. Address:..............
3. Age:..................
4. Sex:..................
5. MaritalStatus:........
6. Occupation:...........
7. Phone numbers:........
8. Fax number:...........
9. Country:..............
10.Nationality:..........

Congratulations once more and from all members and staff of this program.
Yours Truly,
Mrs Rachel Nancollas.
Lottery Co-ordinator

Wow! So, £ 850,502.00 convert to RM is approximately RM 5,298,288. Wowee! I am a millionaire, bay-beeeeeee!!!

Yeah right! Dream on!

uhh... excuse me??

I'm sorry, I just could not stop from laughing as I read this. It's just so darn hilarious! I mean, come on laa! Even if the price is cheap, even if they "will be as fast as computers using Intel Pentium 4 processors", I won't even dream to buy it. Imagine, going up to my friend and say "Hey, look at my brand new lappie! The name's Dola, i-Dola," Hahahahahahahaha. So bloody ridiculous! Oh, and their codename is Mak Cik.

It may be inappropriate for me to laugh and make fun of it, but I just can't stop myself. So, do we pronounce the i-Dola as 'E-Dola' or 'Eye-Dola'? How about the Jean-i? Do we pronounce it as 'Jean-Eye' or 'Genie'? Oh my God. I can't stop laughing.

People doesn't even like the man himself (it's the truth!), I don't know about a laptop named after him. Bad marketing move, I believe.

Tell me what you think. Will you buy it?

have a laugh!

Ever seen this ad?

It. Is. Hilarious!

I first caught this ad at KL Sentral, on one of the big screens there. I was trying very hard not to laugh out as loudly as I wanted to. There were people around, you know, so laughing like I've lost my mind is a no go. But seriously, it's funny. Even the makciks boogied along!

Watch it. And have a laugh. After all, laughter is the best medicine. Till then, have a super nice weekend!

P/S: You have to watch it with the speaker on.

welcome, march!

It's March. Apart from the rather exciting General Election, everything else sucks. This morning started off pretty bad as well with a rather disgruntled person letting the hell loose. Oh. And did I tell you a certain male SMS-ed my sister, asking her to go out to movie with him? A certain male who once confessed of his undying love towards me. Blearghhh!

Welcome, March!